This week, we celebrate the successful Weight Loss of Billi-Jene.
Here’s her story:
My name is Billi-jene, I’m 35 yrs old and this is my story.
I have struggled with weight my whole life when I was a teenager. I almost saw death due to a bad relationship, I got out and looked to change my life but this was not the case. I still was overweight and still not loving myself.
I had moved from my situation to be around family and friends. I found myself happy and walking, I lost a lot of weight and I was finally down to 60kgs which was amazing, I felt whole again – the real me.
Then when I was 24, I found myself up against the world again this time to endure violation and pain. This had sent me back into that downward spiral where I ate and drank alcohol every day, gaining at least 25kgs. At this stage, I did not know what I weighed as I did not care and felt no one else cared. Due to facts, I had to deal with this on my own and in my own head, though my family supported me, I felt alone.
This went on for many years and still I wonder what would have happened if this never occurred – would I have been the beautiful person I was or would my life still run in this direction? I met my husband in 2009 and from there, he loved me for who I was, beautiful and sexy, but to me, I was ugly.
I was 27yrs old when I got married and boy was I struggling to be the beautiful bride I’ve seen in pictures and in movies. But that said my wedding day was perfect and I wouldn’t change a thing. So throughout my marriage, I got comfortable – I ate, I drank and I loved. But in my own head, I was changing. I grew more depressed, I was struggling with my appearance, going into clothing stores but unable to buy what I wanted so I settled for The Big Girl section, looking at sizes like 22, 24 and 26 at one point. This totally ruined my self worth.
2011 was a big year, it was my wedding year but in January my PCOS came at me like a freight train for 11 months. I had period for 11 months non-stop, I automatically thought this was it, my dream of being a mother were over – done and dusted. I did not know till that year I had this disease and once again I ate, I drank and felt nothing, but I endured through it.
2014 I lost my brother to depression. September 2014 was my huge wake up call. I went to the gym and this was when I found out I was 104kg. I trained, I ate very little (stuck to a solid diet) and lost 14kg. I wasn’t happy with my training, it was just digging at me for everything, I didn’t feel supported, so I quit. This went on for 3 years, I tried fad diets , meal suppressants, metermine and duramine – they worked but once script was over, BAM – weight came back on.
By August 2017 I had lost enough weight to begin our IVF. The hormones and moods didn’t get me into a regular cycle, we got only 3 eggs from me and only 1 was implanted. That was the longest gut-wrenching time I could of endured. It was right there my dream was in my grasp, I was so close, then the results were in NEGATIVE. I lost my 1 chance of being a mum.
Now here we go again, depression kicked in hard and never have I felt so much personal pain in my life. Money and time have gone on what felt like a waste. It was horrible for me and my husband.
I went from 85kg all the way up to 95kg and over the course of this time, I was diagnosed with sleep apnea, a few months before our IVF treatment. So I decided I’m going to do something about this, I tried to get back on the horse and get back down again, my head was in no place to be healing my body. I got discouraged, I ate junk food and grew fatter. I didn’t realise how big I got.
In December of 2017, I lost my hero, my rock and my heart – my father, I watched him lose himself to weight at 135kgs, my father was unable to beat the demons in his own head. The day we laid him to rest, my world was lost and once again I ate and drank to hide my pain and guilt. I had not weighed myself since that day. Months had gone by and it was like a light bulb had gone off. I didn’t want to watch myself go down this path of destruction any more. I wanted a chance at life and grabbing my dreams and running with them.
In August 2018 I spoke to my husband about the procedure I wanted to have done, I researched and came across WLSA offering a chance at life which is long lasting and healthier. So I made the vow that if I did this, I had to go in my head first, no regrets, no turning back. I called WLSA and they explained everything and was behind me 100% for my health and my child goals. The appointment was made the 3rd of September at 10 am, I walked through those doors committed to succeed. I weighed in at 107.4kgs, the heaviest I have ever been – my heart sank. I sat in the waiting room looking at myself and comparing myself to the other people in the room, I said to myself I shouldn’t be here, I’m not that big. Feeling embarrassed, I hung my head and started toying with the thoughts in my head, till I spoke to the therapist, nurse and dietitian – gosh they were lovely and they confirmed what I knew in my heart, I needed this and I know I’m in the right place.
I left WLSA more confident but scared that this was the change that could end all my years of struggle and pain. One question that stuck with me was “why are you doing this?” My answer was “I don’t want to go like my father, I want to live, I want to be me, I know I am”. Day of surgery I weighed in at 98kg (woohoo 7.5kg down in 2 weeks.) In the days and weeks following surgery, my hate of all foods was undeniable. I wasn’t hungry but I wanted to eat normal food again. I still have a love-hate relationship with food to this day. I’m scared to go to the shops to buy food, what if I can’t stomach it? There is still a lot of food I can’t handle but my weight was shifting, it was going away never to return.
Christmas came around and oh my, I still wanted to have the prawns and the roast turkey with all the sides so with the help of my husband, I made just enough for the 2 of us, no wasted food like every other year . Pumped and excited, I got through Christmas without eating and drinking alcohol first thing in the morning!Now 4.5 months post op my at my follow up the appointment, I hit the scales and 36.6kg down (booya!) Goodbye pain, goodbye feeling tired and drained. Hello smiles, laughing loudly and loving life once again!
Now time for shopping (yeaaahhh) I can go to those stores and not have people look at me like I don’t belong there. A bikini – oh my husband has only seen me in a full bikini now, I’m happy to show off my better self. I’m eating food again, yes I still have those dumpling moments but hey, goes with the territory…
In conclusion, did I do the right thing? Did I make the right decision? OH YES, yes I did. I implore you all who have not taken the leap, have faith, stand strong and stand by your conviction, you know you have made the right decision by just walking through that door, by making that call, by taking your lives in your own hands being the empowered men and women I know you all are.
“The Most Amazing Things In Life Comes From Taking That First Giant Step Towards A Future – A Long And Healthier Life.” Billi-Jene
Come and say hi to the ladies and gents at WLSA!
I have endured so much through my life that everything was falling down on me including my weight. The struggle of everyday life and tasks was so horrible, back pain, PCOS , Sleep apnea and depression. I had never felt more unhealthy, unfit and not me – well not the me I wanted to be. I guess I was more in denial then I could of ever imagined. Though everyone said I looked beautiful and to not change who I am, I still never felt comfortable in my own body. 108kg is a lot to carry around on a daily basis especially when your whole life revolved around helping others.
My biggest inspiration to want to take my life back was my father, and the struggle he went through late in life.
With his passing, I vowed to change myself and take the big step and live not only for me but for him as well. My dream is to be a mother. Felicity at WLSA empowered me to stand by my convictions and take the leap. I walked through those doors and was 100% committed to changing my life. So now 4.5 months later, I’m smiling from ear to ear – a smile I haven’t seen since I was a teenager.
I now have control of my own fate, life, and future. I swim almost 2kms a day and work has become a breeze. Personally it was the best decision of my life.
Billi Jene – WeightLoss Warrior
Congratulations from all of us at Weightloss Solutions Australia.
Stephnie Van Diemen, Medical Receptionist of WeightLoss Solutions Australia
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*Disclaimer: Results may vary for each person